When I hear these words: Confession of someone who doesn’t agree


As most of you already know, I got lots of passion. Education, Columbus, reading, writing, our community, mentoring and above of all, learning. You will see me out and about supporting or attending different things because I believe in the cause or the people. But here’s a comment I hear often…”Stella, you are so busy”. When I hear these words,  I get that same feeling of nails scratching the surface of  a chalkboard. Here’s why.

Only the friends that know me really, really well know my values. I’ve been living overseas for 15 years. I come from a culture that believes in the motto of “work to live, not live to work“. That’s not to say we don’t value hard work, hustling and going after your dreams with relentless focus. However, we do value time with family,  friends and community as a way to nurture our souls. Thus, allowing us to give back, work hard, hustle and persevere.

So, before saying YES, I ask myself a couple of questions:

  1. what values do these people or organization represent?
  2. Do we share those values?
  3. Are we aligned in our thinking and viewing of people & community?
  4. Does part of the profit to this event goes to an important cause?
  5. Is doing this going to fill my soul in a nurturing way?

I consider these things carefully and then I sit with my planner and intentionally choose up to three causes to support in a month. And because I keep these values so close to my heart, when I attend such events, I don’t consider them a “t0-d0 item.” I consider them a way to give back to my community, to my city. And that’s not being busy my friends. That’s being intentional about living life with a deep sense of purpose.

Why am I sharing all of this?

Because as a society and as a community, we got to stop the glorification of BUSY. When I greet someone and I ask this person, “So, how have you been?” And the reply is “so busy!!” it’s like praising ourselves for filling up the calendar. Instead, we could change the way we talk and instead answer that question by sharing what we chose to do (with intention and purpose).

So here’s what I believe:

  • I believe in choosing time wisely because that’s the one thing you will never get it back.
  • I believe in doing things that fill up your heart so you can continue to give. That looks different for everyone. Comparing ourselves to one another is going to destroy us little by little. Let’s not.
  • I believe in solitude because I get to recharge my soul with my own voice, my own reflection. We should celebrate solitude more often instead of looking down as “nothing to do.”
  • I believe in community. They also recharge my soul but in different ways. I find my purpose when I serve others. I find a place of belonging. Meeting new people, learning from them, having “small moments of inspiration”

So, friends, how have you been? What lights up your fire?

Whatever you chose to do this week, I hope you choose it not to be busy, but because you chose to LIVE it with intention.


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