Am I a partner? Am I forgiving? Am I resilient? Am I enough? Questions. Questions. What if we pause our life to question all those labels we give ourselves. That’s what Maria Bello does so beautifully in this book Whatever…Love Is Love: Questioning the Labels We Give Ourselves
You might remember this actress from movies like Coyote Ugly, The Jane Austin Book Club, McFarland USA among others. Even though I recognized her film work, I didn’t know she was a writer. And a beautiful one indeed. Throughout the 14 chapters in this book, she pours her heart out to the audience. She spills her life, her own battle and inner struggles, her family stories that shaped her and at times haunted her.
Some of the most thought provoking passages from the book are these:
“So let’s not pretend that only bad people have affairs, or make decisions based on desire and animal passion. At least, let’s throw out our inclination to point fingers and name names, and instead accept that we can never know what is in someone else’s head or how we might turn if overcome with feeling. ”
“Mom always says that it just takes a quarter of a turn to change your life. One phrase that someone utters, a passage you might read in a book, or deciding to stay with someone or not can change your destiny forever.”
“I have come to see my father and mother as people, not just godlike figures who controlled my life. I have acceptance for where they came from and what they were taught, who they were and what their values are. Knowing and accepting doesn’t always take the pain of what happened to our family but it does help us to pull away the fear and trauma and see the good inside of each other. Maybe it even helps us to forgive ourselves a little more. And I know it’s far better to be a forgiver than to be bound by anger.”
Am I humanitarian? Am I a feminist? Am I damaged? Am I a good mom? The questions are real and the answers are honest. It captivates a soul without revision or editing. Just as is.
Bonus=Random Pieces of Awesomeness
The soundtrack of this amazing movie can just stay on repeat while I work. It’s beautiful.
My favorite lipstick color. Any season.
If you live in Columbus, then you must see this exhibit.
This quote sums up what I thought A LOT about this week:
Photo of the week captured by my friend Betty…a reminder of finding JOY in little things.
Sneak into the next blog post: what I learned and discovered through this book and that inner process of documenting and journaling.